Your Power (Seriously, You Have More Than You Think You Do)
Author’s note: The backbone for the information in this article is based on the teachings of the Right Use of Power Institute (RUPI), and much of the source material is found in the “Power Differential” chapter of “Right Use of Power: The Heart of Ethics — A Guide and Resource for Professional Relationships” by Cedar Barstow, M.Ed., CHT. Some of the specific interpretations about power, however – and especially my ideas about the power and “role” of the events unfolding around us – are strictly my interpretation of the information I’ve learned from training with the RUPI and integrated along the way. They may or may not agree with me!
I’m going to open this one with a statement that you might think is pretty radical:
2020 does not suck.
How’s that one land for you? What’s your knee-jerk response?
Something that’s really been striking to me these last few months has been the number of remarks I’ve seen or heard out there on social, or in conversation, along the lines of “2020 sucks” or “I can’t wait until this year is over.”
Well, here’s something that may surprise you (or maybe not) – people think every year sucks.
Remember this John Oliver clip from way back in 2016? Things like this get thrown around every year.
Yes, 2020 has been radically different than what we’re used to. And, people think every year sucks.
In the conversations I’ve had around how much 2020 sucks, and in many of the posts I’ve seen, I’ve also noticed another theme that tends to quickly follow – “There’s nothing I can do about it.”
So, embedded within these conversations, really, is the idea of powerlessness.
Maybe that’s what this is really about. Let’s talk about that.
What is this thing called “power” anyway? When I consider this question, I most often go back to my 2017 “Right Use of Power” (RUOP) training. Right Use of Power is a system of ethics education created by Cedar Barstow, a long time Hakomi teacher based in Colorado (I’d highly recommend you check out her book and the Right Use of Power Institute’s website for some phenomenal resources around this topic).
According to RUOP, “power is simply the ability to have an effect, or to have influence.”
It’s simple.
Now, there’s a real depth to RUOP’s work, and a lot of experiential detail to be discovered, but foundationally your power lies within your ability to affect change. On any level.
So, my sense for the mass feeling of “not being able to do anything about it” is that there’s a major lack of awareness around – and even a disbelief in – our power. About the small (or even large) actionable things we can do that have an influence on the direction we want things to go.
Why is that?
Within RUOP, there’s the concept of being in differently powered positions – “up-power” and “down-power.” Now, down-power does not infer less value, less importance, or “no power.” It simply denotes someone (or -ones) who have less power in a particular relational situation. A basic example would be the relationship between an employer and an employee. The employer is in the up-power position as they have more ability to influence the employee and the employee’s experience than the employee may have to influence the employer and the employer’s experience.
Perhaps then we can look at current world events through the frame of the up-power lens. They’re pretty much operating at a level beyond our control, have the ability to influence the entire world and entire systems, they’re in the role of creating the context and boundaries within which we’re all living right now, can seem all-powerful at times, and their “actions” can have an outsized impact on us vs. the impact our actions have on them.
In the face of that power, it can be pretty overwhelming, right? No wonder so many of us feel powerless.
But let’s consider the down-power role a bit here. What resources does that role have within systems of power?
Well, for one, a person in a down-power role has the ability to share their perceptions, needs, and interests within relationships and situations. They can give feedback and ask for change if they’re willing. And, interestingly, one of the gifts of being in the down-power position is that you actually have the ability to let go of being in charge or in control.
What’s important to understand in this position is that up-power is not ALL power, and down-power is not NO power.
And being in a down-power situation does not absolve you from responsibility, even though you have the choice to not be in charge. You are still 100% responsible for your actions, taking care of your conditions, and resolving problems or conflicts you’re in.
So, given the circumstances out there in the world right now, you may indeed feel very disempowered, that you have no influence whatsoever. Remember this framing though. Consider yourself simply in a down-power position. You still have the ability to influence outcomes in the world around you in small and large ways.
In fact, you have a responsibility to do so.
Quoting the RUOP book here, and this is a tremendously important concept (in fact, it’s the number one takeaway I’d love for you to have from this piece):
“Under use of power is also a misuse of power.”
Big concept, huh?
Need some ideas about how to “do” the down-power role well? Here are some of my favorites from RUOP’s “Down Power Strategies for Working with People in Up-Power Roles” handout:
Name possible solutions and be willing to be part of the solution.
Be clear about what outcome you want, and then don’t be attached to this particular outcome.
Avoid taking something on alone when there is significant risk – join with others.
Focus more on how you want things to be in the future and less on the past.
Find out where you have leverage that you could use.
When you CAN’T do what you want to do, identify what you CAN do.
Change a gripe into a curiosity about what could be possible.
Learn when to persist and when to let go.
Try to see the largest possible perspective on the situation.
Understand when you are triggered and wait for a time when you are calmer.
And my very favorite….”If you want a kitten, start by asking for a horse.”
So, here’s the deal people. I’m sorry to break it to you, but 2021 will not magically be different, or better. If it’s the system reset you get by flipping the calendar to a new year that you’re looking for, why not just do it today? Flip the calendar from yesterday to today, and reset here.
It’s up to you. You have the ability, and responsibility, to influence events around you.
Remember the power you do have.